I hate today

This is my cry baby moment so if you don't want to hear it just keep going, nothing to see here.

Today is my least favorite day of the whole year. You see even though I am a stay at home mom, I am not very good at it. My children do not listen to me. For me to get my house clean I have to yell like a crazy woman, in fact that is what I always say, "Will you just do it, so I don't have to yell like a crazy woman."

Today is always the deal breaker, you see the day before Mother's day this is what happens.

1- My husband is out of town, for years (seven) my husband had a job where he traveled, sometimes he was gone for six to eight weeks at a time and this meant that he was always gone on this day. Sure enough par for the course he is gone today.

2- He always comes home on Sunday for Mother's day which means that the house needs to be cleaned today. All the fun we have been having needs to be put away and cleaned up. Now enter the crazy lady, I will start out asking nice. "Can you please clean up this mess." Then I will start cleaning my share of the mess and since I have left the room the children will go back to what ever they are doing because I am not there hovering over them.

I will come back to said room, to find said child looking at herself in the mirror instead of doing the work. and say again "Will you please just do it, PLEASE. I did not make this mess, please just get it done so we no longer have to have this conversation." I am sure you are now guessing (maybe because you have these same kind of children at your house) that yeah, they still don't do it.

3- At some point in the fight to get the room clean I will say something like this "It is Mother's day so can you please just for today do it because I asked." At which point they will look at  me confused and say "No it is tomorrow" I will then respond "I realise that it is tomorrow, but for your gift to me can you please listen to me today and just GET THE ROOM CLEAN." Now one of two things might just happen 1. they will look at me say they are going to do it, and not or 2. they will look at me maybe get a little teary and say they are going to do it until they get distracted be some shiny object and get back to doing nothing.

4- By now it is two hours later and yep you guessed it my children have shown their undying love and affection for their mother by DOING NOTHING. Now this is when it gets ugly because at some point in all the crazy I will end up screaming and yelling breaking out into the ugly cry and saying "It is Mother's day please JUST DO IT" I am sure that all my neighbors can attest to this fact because I am pretty sure that they can all hear me loosing my mind.

5- It is at this point it hits me I am a looser of a mother. I am sure if I had done some thing different when they were little maybe they would listen and just do it. Or if I were one of those mother's that has every minute of the day organised then they would know it is time to just do it. Or if I had put the fear of God into them at some point so that they were afraid of me they would just do it.

But no, I decided when Baubi was a baby that I didn't want to break her like a horse and get her listen to me. I didn't want to break her spirit just so I could have a clean house and obedient child. When Gowyn was a baby girl and didn't talk and had the sweetest little countenance how could I put the fear into that, and keep her sweet. If you knew Lala you would instantly love her because she has that personality that everyone just wants to be her friend. Baby sister at this point is just a lost cause she will tell me while I am in the middle of trying to get her to do something "Mom, Mom, Mom" me "Baby sister if you want to go to the gas station this room needs to be cleaned" her "Mom it is OK" me "No it is not your pull up is still on the floor" Her "Mom, Mom, Mom it is cleaned up" me "No it is not" she will then pick up said sticky pull up and throw it away and proclaim the room is clean, forget all the clothes dolls and other paraphernalia on the floor.

6- At some point today Good Looking is going to call and see what is going on, and I will end up in tears of frustration telling him that they just won't listen, and it has been going on all day. He will then get the oldest on the phone and put the fear in her and have her take over the girls and get it done.

7- I will go to bed feeling like a complete failure only to wake up in the morning to tales of wonderful mothers who saved their children, who never yell, who wake up at five in the morning to make cinnamon rolls for their children for breakfast. The mother's who were so good at it had twelve more, or were so good at it took in foster children. Those mother's who keep a clean house who's children get straight A's while competing in sports and dance. Who inspired their children to change the world, and I can't even get mine to clean their room or put away their clothes.

It will then hit me that is why my own mom never went to church on Mother's day. Who wants to stand up in front of the whole church to get a flower when you are feeling like a failure the entire time. Just so you know my mom was not a failure she was amazing, but just couldn't see it at the time. So until that day happens to me and I look back at my girls and think, hey look at that, I guess I did do a pretty good job after all. Until that day in say twenty to twenty five years, I will hate this day.

Just a little side note to this rant, they are doing OK so far. Maybe because they are getting older, or maybe because the day is still young.