Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I didn't make it

Last month I posted about this contest.
well today I found out I didn't make it.

I should not be sad about it.
I should be relived in a way because,
I was going to be out if town for the first two week of the competition.
It would have been a pain to try to finish Easter dresses,
 and then add on three other projects 
to the list of one hundred things to do before April 4.

Need less to say that I am sad.
Maybe because it has just been a crappy couple of days.
But the real reason is this...
I think I am better than who they chose.
I do this every time, every time I enter a stupid linky party,
every time I enter an online contest.
I just end up being upset about it.
I will make something super cute, take pictures,
enter ten linky parties and with out fail,
the next week I will not be featured.

I often wonder why. 
Is it my photo skills?
Did I not show off that well how awesome I did?
Did I use fabrics that they didn't like? 
Should I have done it in a different way?
I don't know.
All I know is that of the people they did choose,
two of them can not even sew in a zipper,
and some of the things were so simple I could have made them in a day.

Then I am left to wonder is that what they want..
Did they want something cute but sewn crappy.
Did they want something clever and trendy.
I mean even in the honorable mentions most of it didn't look that good to me.

I also have to wonder if they want someone with a 
big blog and a thousand followers.
If the 98 of you who do follow me was not seen as worthy to the judges.
(by the way I love all 98 of you, and thank you for putting up with me.)

I know it doesn't matter, the things I make I love.
If I take the girlies out in things that I have made 
I am stopped and told what a lovely job I have done.

I have had people stop in the middle of the parking lot
 to ask me about a sun dress for crying out load.

But I do a post of all the things I have sewn and I get nothing.
I know I know it doesn't matter.

When I posted on Facebook that I was cleaning out my closet, 
and to come get what you want,
all those dresses were gone in about three hours.

I know they did not come to get a free dress,
they came to get a "Robyn" dress.
That should matter but it still hurts to be turned down.

I want to make things that people see and love.
(I guess I do)
I want this little blog to grow, so that I can share my talents.
(I guess I do that too)
I guess when it comes down to it I just want 
to be recognized as a new talent.

I just want this little blog to grow to be a big blog.
I want to contribute to the household and grow a business.
I am not a business minded person, and I don't know how to do that.

I thought if I win this contest then people would know me.
If people know me I will get more than nine views a day.
If I get more than nine views a day maybe I could get sponsors.
If I got sponsors then maybe I could get advertising.....
and so on and so forth.

I have always been told by the husband and the mother,
when are we going to start making money with your talents.
It is never "that is amazing" it is always, 
now when can you sell this and make some money.

Maybe I am doomed to be the struggling artist,
 and not the money making artist.

OK I am now going to cry while I make dinner, and blame it on the onions.
I will probably be deleting this post in the morning.
But right now I just needed to vent.

Thanks for listening to my whining, 
I am now going to put on my big girl panties and get over it.


  1. I know it seems like you have not won anything but if you have the praise and love of your children that is all that matters. And your husband of course. You probably wouldnt have time to make anything for them if you had a business. For what it's worth, you inspired me to make FIVE quilts in one year just because you love your family so much. And I have been sewing like crazy since I started your followijg you blog. I am not a grear sewer either.

  2. I didn't make it either, and I was really surprised by what was chosen also. The first thing that popped into my head was, "if you just wanted frilly little girl dresses, why didn't you just say so?" I thought maybe I was just being bitter, glad I wasn't the only one questioning the choices :-)

  3. Believe me I know exactly how you feel. I always feel on the outside looking in at a lot of these blogs and contests. I keep telling myself one day at a time but once in a while it would be nice to feel a part of a group....

  4. I think your sewing is awesome! I love your heirloom dresses for infants, they are beautiful and require such skill! I was surprised by what was chosen as well....seems like really simple things were selected. Keep doing what you love, you do inspire many people.

  5. I am sorry to read about your discontent, I understand how you feel (I have been applying to many jobs where I qualified and I never even got an email back or any interviews...) I have been trying not to put too much pressure on myself for my blog, and like you I have a smaller blog.
    I am always impressed by all the beautiful costumes you have made (I have a soft spot for costumes!). Do not give up!

  6. Oh my gosh Robyn. I've so felt what you are feeling. I've so been there and hated doing that. I don't know what to tell you. I've watched other people do exactly what I drew on my design board. I've shown sketches and had other designers tell me"I'm already doing that". It even put me in a place where I stopped dreaming and creating. But you have to move on. You have to do what you love and what you want to have at the end of the day and the heck with everyone else. You are fantastic! It is ok to want more and then move on like I know you will.. You are such a great seamstress/sewer/creater. I can't tell you how much I admire you. I have confidence in you. But I do know how you feel. This sad but I've lowered my expectations. I don't want you to do that but at some time you have to put you and your family before these crazies online. It is so political. I'm just so sorry you feel this way. You are amazing.

  7. Please dont give up. I came to know about you somehow! Keep blogging, keep making what you love. I love your blog!!

  8. I still love you!!! And I think you DO make VERY beautiful things! I only WISH I were that talented (I am a big enough girl to admit I am not)!! Hugs!!

  9. Oh how I hear you! I often feel the exact same way! I just competed in So You Think You're Crafty allstars and I liked my projects way more than the others... but I got booted:) It's no fun at all! Especially when you put SOOO much work into it!!! I often think it's a popularity thing... which is a total bummer... I've been blogging for 5 years and haven't been able to make the 1000 followers mark, and then people come along, blog for 3 months and they've surpassed it! So it is what it is! I think you're amazing and your projects are to die for! One other thing I noticed is lots of people, okay most people hardly every comment:) So there really are alot of people out here that do LOVE Your stuff!!! SO I understand but I say... keep trecking on... I'll put on my big girl panties with you!!!

  10. I read this post this morning and it broke my heart. I love your blog, your passion and excitement for what you do, and the precision and degree of perfection that your finished projects reflect. I'm a new follower, new to reading blogs, only passionately seen for about 3 years, and you're incredible skill level has already inspired me so greatly.

    I hope that your disappointment only fuels your inspiration rather than pushes you down. The loss is theirs, truly, and not yours.

  11. I'm sorry...I'm dealing with a boatload of my own crap right now (got robbed of pretty much everything a couple days ago) but I have to stop in and say that A) you didn't get 'nothing' on your Feb 9 got me and a few others telling you how AWESOME you ARE. :-)And B) I have no doubt at all that our world celebrates mediocrity. I don't know why...I don't know when it began...I have completely stopped 'competing' or even joining in any way because I am usually surrounded by 'crap' that we used to make in Girl Scouts.bleh. Yep. Ya just gotta 'get over it' and move on with doing it for the joy it always brought you. And live in the knowledge that you are FABULOUS! So says me. ;-)

  12. well I wanted to vote for you but sadly I was too late. I found this on pintrest and I have to say you may have lost the contest but your quilt is all ove there as inspiration. I am thinking about making a baby quilt version of this and possibly add yo yos instead of the circles and maybe some rick rack not sure yet. But I am in love with this quilt. I do feel you should have won!