I didn't make it

Last month I posted about this contest.

well today I found out I didn't make it.

I should not be sad about it.

I should be relived in a way because,

I was going to be out if town for the first two week of the competition.

It would have been a pain to try to finish Easter dresses,

 and then add on three other projects 

to the list of one hundred things to do before April 4.

Need less to say that I am sad.

Maybe because it has just been a crappy couple of days.

But the real reason is this...

I think I am better than who they chose.

I do this every time, every time I enter a stupid linky party,

every time I enter an online contest.

I just end up being upset about it.

I will make something super cute, take pictures,

enter ten linky parties and with out fail,

the next week I will not be featured.

I often wonder why. 

Is it my photo skills?

Did I not show off that well how awesome I did?

Did I use fabrics that they didn't like? 

Should I have done it in a different way?

I don't know.

All I know is that of the people they did choose,

two of them can not even sew in a zipper,

and some of the things were so simple I could have made them in a day.

Then I am left to wonder is that what they want..

Did they want something cute but sewn crappy.

Did they want something clever and trendy.

I mean even in the honorable mentions most of it didn't look that good to me.

I also have to wonder if they want someone with a 

big blog and a thousand followers.

If the 98 of you who do follow me was not seen as worthy to the judges.

(by the way I love all 98 of you, and thank you for putting up with me.)

I know it doesn't matter, the things I make I love.

If I take the girlies out in things that I have made 

I am stopped and told what a lovely job I have done.

I have had people stop in the middle of the parking lot

 to ask me about a sun dress for crying out load.

But I do a post of all the things I have sewn and I get nothing.

I know I know it doesn't matter.

When I posted on Facebook that I was cleaning out my closet, 

and to come get what you want,

all those dresses were gone in about three hours.

I know they did not come to get a free dress,

they came to get a "Robyn" dress.

That should matter but it still hurts to be turned down.

I want to make things that people see and love.

(I guess I do)

I want this little blog to grow, so that I can share my talents.

(I guess I do that too)

I guess when it comes down to it I just want 

to be recognized as a new talent.

I just want this little blog to grow to be a big blog.

I want to contribute to the household and grow a business.

I am not a business minded person, and I don't know how to do that.

I thought if I win this contest then people would know me.

If people know me I will get more than nine views a day.

If I get more than nine views a day maybe I could get sponsors.

If I got sponsors then maybe I could get advertising.....

and so on and so forth.

I have always been told by the husband and the mother,

when are we going to start making money with your talents.

It is never "that is amazing" it is always, 

now when can you sell this and make some money.

Maybe I am doomed to be the struggling artist,

 and not the money making artist.

OK I am now going to cry while I make dinner, and blame it on the onions.

I will probably be deleting this post in the morning.

But right now I just needed to vent.

Thanks for listening to my whining, 

I am now going to put on my big girl panties and get over it.