Saturday, May 12, 2012

My Four Mother's

Once again I find myself in this same position  One would have thought I would be one year older, and a year wiser but no. They are still not listening to me, and to top it off they have their friends over today to add pain to misery. And Yes Good Looking is still out of town, he is coming home at 10:00 tonight.

Maybe one day the four children will grow up to be women who have learned to clean their rooms. Maybe they will call me one day to tell me that they just said to their child, the same things that I have always said to them. Maybe just maybe they will apologize for not listening to me. Maybe they will even say your right mom the day before Mother's day should really count as your own mother's day. Do you need me to come and clean your room for you.

So to try and change my mind from the whole failure of motherhood I am going to tell you about my Moms.

I have four of them.

I would not be, who I am with out them.

My first mother

Is my birth mother. I was adopted. I have never met her. I am told her name is Kathryn. I am told that her husband left her while she was pregnant with me. She already had a 1 1/2 year old son to take care of, and wanted better for me. I am very grateful to her for giving me my life. Besides giving my parents, my stable two family home, my five brothers and three sisters. She literally gave me life. Hawaii was the first state to legalize abortion. I am thankful that she didn't go with that option. I sometimes think what she might look like. I am guessing that we would have the same hands.

My second and forever mom.

She is amazing even though she would not agree with it. She is crazy, fun, and everything I needed in a mom. She raised eight children and said goodbye to her youngest.  She says the funniest things. One day I called her and when she answered the phone I said "mom" and she said "well that all depends" and then went off on how I could be her mom or I could have the wrong phone number, in that case she would not be the mom I was looking for. Her eyes disappear when she is laughing, and when she gets choked up watching a show she will literally say "a pup a pup up" and  wave her hands in front of her face. She is an on the floor Grandma and always organizes them into activities. I saw a quote the other day that said "The only thing better than having you as a mom, is knowing that my kids have you for a grandma" Truer words have not been spoken.
If you live in Utah County then you might know my mom she is the one who started Hope of America. She had a vision, and at fifty she made it happen. She went back to school to get a degree in physical education and not only did it, but got straight A's. Her show started with just a few schools and now includes every school in the county and is over two nights. if you have been in the past; she is the one directing the choir, and she is the one doing the push-ups. I told her my fitness goal is to beat her in push-ups, she would be a tough one to beat. When she was serving her mission in Samoa last year she challenged the boys there to  push-ups and she won. She beat them. My almost seventy year old mother beat the big Samoan boys, cracks me up.
I could go on and on about all the fun and crazy things she had us do while we were growing up. The checker tournaments, scripture and prophet memorization, or the muscles of the heart memorization in hopes that one of us might become a doctor. She used to always say "One day our ship is going to come in" If she had a dollar for every time she said it it probably would have. One day my dad said "It did come in, it was a raft full of kids" I am so thankful that I was on that raft. I love you Mom.

My third Mom

My Mother in law. I know there are a lot of women who hate there in laws. They feel like they could never measure up, or that they are not loved by their mother in law because they took away her baby boy. I have never in my eighteen years of marriage felt that way. She is a kind and loving woman who has treated me like part of the family since I first walked into their house when I was dating my husband. I wanted to marry into a family where I could call my mother in law mom and I always have. I don't think I have ever called her Tamra. She raised a wonderful man for me and for that alone I could love her. I think it is the way that she has always treated me and my girls that makes me love her more. Her health has not been the best over the last few years. I wish my girls could have seen the woman that she was, but I know that they love the woman that she is. She always says that she put it in a safe place, then can't remember where that place was.  She can get out any stain that you might have, and can make white clothes white, and mean WHITE. She won't send her husband to work with out an ironed shirt and he is in construction. She would iron his paint shirts, because she doesn't want him showing up to work not looking his best. Don't bother telling her that it doesn't matter because to her it does. I have been blessed. When I hear the awe full in-law stories I always say a little prayer of gratitude.

My last mom

Grandma Kath. I have talked about her before she is our spirit Grandma. She is not related to us through blood but through the spirit. The Lord stepped in to her life, so that she would be a part of mine. I have called her my friend, my mom, and my soul mate. She counts my kids as her grand kids and loves us all the same. She is the one that I can talk through all my problems with. She will tell me the truth, and tell me how to fix it. She cleans my pantry and my laundry when she is here. She wants me to teach her, after all the teaching that she has done in her life, and my life, she wants me to teach her.

I am hoping that one day I will think of my self as equal to these great women who made me, me. I am thankful that the Lord looked down on my life and said this is who you need, and gave it to me.

I hope that you have a great Mother's day. As always I hope your children listen to you, and shower you with kisses.


  1. Hang in there with your girls. Remember we were all a little rebellious from ages 12-16. Times will get better. I have 2 girls myself, and I was also a foster mom to 8 other teenage girls. At one point I had 7 teenage girls at one time living here. Drove my husband nuts, I would send him to HIS room to chill out. I knew it would all pass, and told him one day you will see. Then he came to me one day and said "Hey, I think the switch got flipped over night, she has changed." Sure enough, went from the snotty-know-it-all-teenager, to a young woman.

    Some advice I can give. Start them off young doing all the chores they would have to do if they lived on their own. Pick one day a week they are responsible for cooking, make them have the recipe picked out before grocery day, and be there to help, but make them do it. If they don't cook for the family, the rest of the family gets to go out to dinner without them.

    Make them do their own laundry, give each child a different day of the week. They don't wash their clothes on that day, they wear dirty stuff till next week.

    I always had a rule in my house no food or drink out of the kitchen dining room area. As far as their rooms went, I made them strip the linens and vacuum once a week, the rest of the time, I could care less if they wanted to live like a slob and have all their friends see it too. Usually when you give them that attitude, and point out how much of a slob they are when their friends are there, that is when they try to keep it semi clean when friends are coming over. The no food thing means you don't have to worry about bugs investing your house either.

    Remember if your kids make it to adulthood, you did a wonderful job! If they graduate school, you did even a better job. If they stay out of jail, better job still. Off drugs, great job too. Girls not moms before their time, then they listened (as long as your giving the talks) more than you think they did.

    So as it may not seem like it now, Your doing a wonderful job. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

    Pick your battles, most of the ones your probably dealing with right now, aren't worth the fight. Let the little things go.

    Also make "ME" time. You deserve it.

    Also make them buy their own stuff, you want to know more about that whole suggestion thing, just email me. It WORKS wonders!

    Happy Mother's Day!

  2. Beautiful stories of your 4 Moms... just beautiful you are indeed lucky...

    Happy Mothers Day,


  3. You ARE very blessed. And very smart to know it.